I thought today would feel different. 

In some ways it does… I guess. My anxiety is ratcheted up a notch, even from its usual “stuck on high” setting. I feel uncertain about what I should be doing more of to promote it, but I’ve done that every day since I finished my first draft, so not much new there. I have a growing sense of pride that might be unique for me in my life, but a healthy dose of harsh feedback would be enough to bring that crashing back down to earth. Really, it sort of just feels like… Saturday. 

But it does feel a little quiet, presumably how it feels when you hear about the calm before the storm. It’s almost eerie in its silence.  

I have no idea what to expect when I wake up tomorrow. Most likely, it will feel a lot like any other Sunday, but I have to imagine I’ll be even more terminally online than usual. Hitting refresh buttons, checking analytics, reaching out to people to ask them if they’d consider reading. I see a lot of that in my future, and I’m bracing myself for a lot of disappointment. I am a first time author after all, and despite my illusions of grandeur, I will likely have to put in years and years of consistent work to have my name carry any recognition. 

But wouldn’t it be nice if my book became available, and it became an instant success? I mean, that’s not outside the realm of possibility right? It might be a Dumb and Dumber sized chance, but it’s non-zero. 

I’ll go with that. I’ll hope for the legendary, but expect the modest. 

Anyway, will you please read my book?

Court