Who’s in charge here anyway? I’ve been trying to speak to management for years now. I have concerns about these operating practices. 

Let’s start with the Anxiety Department. Why, oh why, do they insist on sending out hourly memos about problems I don’t need reminding about?

“Just circling back on that misstep you made in that meeting six months ago.”

“This is to remind you that any small rejection means you might not be lovable.”

And don’t get me started on The Ego Team. Sure, I get it’s their job to market me, and make me seem far more composed than I actually am, but do they have to be so damn arrogant about it?

“We are one week away from becoming the greatest writer to ever put out a novel.”

“Oh, that’s a great concept. You really are a visionary.”

Don’t forget Your Inner Critic. They are far too bureaucratic. Do they really have to question every little detail? They really slow down production. 

“We need to review that sentence again. And then again.”

“Was that joy I detected? That warrants a formal complaint.”

Meanwhile, in the corner of this dysfunctional little corporation sits your best kept secret. Hope. It doesn’t say much, but the things it does say are powerful. It doesn’t forecast. It doesn’t catastrophize. It just quietly refills the coffee, opens the laptop, and gets back to work. 

I’ve realized something lately. The loudest departments are rarely the most important. They aren’t the ones keeping the manufacturing line moving. That’s Motivation. They don’t set company goals or create growth plans. That’s vision. This place has some great teams. They just aren’t being used properly. 

So, yes, I’d like to speak to the manager please. I need to tell him to get his shit together, get his head out of his ass, and make better use of the teams he has working for him. 

With the right plan, he might be running a successful business someday.